Perfectionist and Imposter Syndrome Walk Into A Bar...

The Perfectionist orders that perfect, overpriced glass of refreshing Chardonnay. It’s predictable and safe. It comes across like she has her shit together. She laughs at everything everyone says, yet makes sure to continue to people-please everyone at the same time. She’s highly critical of herself, sets unrealistic standards and seeks happiness within “things” rather than herself.

Imposter Syndrome is a whole different ball-park. She orders something new, an Old Fashion. But she feels like a phony; she’s not a bourbon drinker. She knows NOTHING about bourbon. Who does she think she is stepping outside of what she knows, outside of her… comfort zone!? She shames herself, doubts herself and doesn’t believe she deserves greatness.

We all have guards that try to stop us from fulfilling our dreams. They say things like “You’re not ready”,
“You can’t do that”, “You’re not smart enough”, “It’s already been done by someone”, “That sounds risky, try something safer.” For me, it’s usually my Perfectionist and Imposter Syndrome who like to sneak up on me, normally right before I’m about to start something new. I’ve learned that I needed to stop letting these thoughts live rent free in my head, it was time to hand them the eviction notice.

Perfectionist and Imposter Syndrome have always tried to stop me from sharing my gifts from the world, always making sure to warn me of what could come from being vulnerable. Perfectionist told me nothing was good enough. Imposter syndrome told me to stick to what I know. Don't rock the boat in fear of being seen, or even worse, seen and then criticized!
Some days I feel like I’m conquering the world and other days I feel like I’m hiding from it. It’s a constant push and pull when it comes to writing and creating. On a Monday I could feel confident about my writing, myself and who I’m becoming. On a Thursday, I could feel like a fraud who doesn’t want to step outside of the perfect, safe box I have created for myself.

It doesn’t always feel like magic when I’m writing. There are days when my perfectionist makes me feel like my writing isn’t good enough. I pick apart my writing before I even give it a chance to come alive on paper. I declare myself a failure before I even give myself time to think about what success means. There are days when my imposter syndrome makes me think “Who am I to start a blog? What makes me worthy? Or intelligent enough? Or deserving?”

Yet here I am, so vulnerable I feel as if I could be butt-ass naked, but sharing my writing with the world nonetheless. Not everyday is easy, but everyday I am growing.

I’m learning that my inner perfectionist and imposter syndrome go hand in hand, sometimes feeling like they’re doing a little salsa dance around me. I’m starting to work with them instead of against them. The perfectionist just wants to know that everything is going to be ok. The imposter syndrome just wants to feel worthy of starting something new.

My Perfectionist and Imposter Syndrome had created a safe box for me to stay in. The more I outgrow that box, the louder they scream for me to not step outside of it. I’m constantly needing to remind them to *kindly* calm the fuck down. There’s no fun that comes from staying inside your comfort zone.

So when you give your inner guards, perfectionist, imposter syndrome, busy bee, comparer, whatever that may be, a chance to talk instead of running from them, you’ll learn they just want to be heard. They just want to know the risk they’re taking is going to be worth it. This is when they go from guards to guides.

Now, whether you’re inviting them in for a cup of coffee or a shot of tequila…. that’s up to you.